The 10 Common Mental Mistakes Athletes Make
And, What You Can Do to Fix Them
By Andrea Wieland, Ph.D., Olympian
In no particular order of importance, except the first, I have listed the most common mistakes I see athletes make in "life" and in sports. You will notice the mistakes and solutions are directly related. So you may find my solutions contradictory. This contradiction is the essence of the art of performance: knowing when to apply the rightsolution to fit the current situation. I could write for a year on this topic, but I kept the explanations and the strategies, brief and to the point. A full fleshing out of the mistakes and of the solutions is not provided. Instead, let this give your brain thoughtful pondering material to create the solution best for your situation.
The 10 Common Mental Mistakes Athletes Make
#1 Holding onto a poor self-image.
#2 No grit.
#3 No clearly written goals with a deadline.
#4 No coping strategies, no recovery strategies. No active, intentional ways to bounce back.
#5 Not asking for help. No reliable resources, experts or support system in place.
#6 Working on the wrong things or working on the same things, but expecting different results.
#7 Not trusting yourself; putting too much weight in what everyone else thinks.
#8 No baseline assessment. No plan. No measurement.
#9 No flexibility; thinking there is only one way of doing something.
#10 Too focused on the past and on the future. No ability to focus on what's important now.
This 3-part series allows you to seriously consider and digest each mistake. Instead of briefing over each mistake, I hope you take each mistake and its solution into deep consideration. Be open to how you, or someone who you are helping, might be affected by one, some or all of the mistakes. Seriously reflect on how you might be getting in the way of your own level of performance and execution.
I strongly recommend writing out the answers to the self-reflection questions offered at the end of each of the 3 parts.
#1 Holding onto a poor self-image. Poor self-image is at the core of almost every problem any human faces. If you really think about any issue (geopolitical, environmental, health, financial, business, education, basic self-care), many of them originate from a lack of self-esteem (not liking yourself), a lack of self-acceptance (a resistance to what is good, fine, great, extraordinary, unique about you and what dimension of yourself could benefit from improvement) or a poor self-image (what and who you perceive yourself to be). A poor self-image usually falls somewhere between self-loathing and the thought, "I'm not good enough." On the other hand, an unrealistic self-appraisal/self-image causes frustration, disappointment, anger and sadness. For example, continuing to dream about winning a Division I college scholarship when you are not making all star teams, attending key tournaments, nor working with a specialty coach, and you are just starting to contact coaches the Fall of your senior year. There is likely much more work to be done that you may or may not have the work ethic nor talent to execute. You may be able to walk on, but there is a lot of catching up to do before expecting a scholarship.
SOLUTION: First, recognize that holding on to a poor self-image dictates performance and impacts decisions. Second, begin the process of letting go of the self-image that's created obstacles. Do the necessary self-work (journaling, listening to personal development audios, working with a specialist, reading books, studying admirable people, surrounding yourself or studying people you want to emulate) to create an image that is aligned with your strengths, your gifts and the talents you want to develop. I am a big believer in Dreaming Big. However, the work ethic and right actions that work toward the dream must be executed to contribute to the dream becoming a reality.
#2 No Grit. No Gratitude, No Grititude. Gives up too quickly, does not persevere through tough moments, rolls over and plays dead, always looks for what's wrong instead of appreciating what's right, or makes the biggest mistake...quitting. "Quitters never win and winners never quit." An old adage still relevant today and one that really irritates me! Mental toughness is about forging forward, finding a way, figuring out a path, staying open to possibilities, even when things get tough. Too quickly and too easily, I see athletes fold or back off from a tough workout or practice. They quit because they don't like the coach (or they think the coach doesn't like them). They give up on the last rep instead of pushing through it. Or mentally they allow a paper wall to be a brick wall stopping them in their tracks instead of being able to burst through it. I am not talking about stupid, blockhead moves where you risk injury by lifting too much weight, or go crashing into people to try to win the ball with no sense of self-preservation just to show how tough you are. No, I am talking about not taking risks to avoid being uncomfortable. Just so you know, I have a low tolerance for people who have a whole lot of "quit in them."
SOLUTION: When training, think "Game Pace." When given a set amount of work, do one more rep. Work 5 minutes longer. Stretch 1 inch further. Breathe deeper. Demand from yourself that you execute more precisely. With a difficult person in authority, try different approaches. Don't personalize what they are saying even if it is meant to be personal. After all, the dysfunctional communication says more about them than it does you. If it's complete mayhem and abusive, then certainly it is not worth any physical or emotional damage to stay in that type of environment. However, I have often found that difficult people also give me the gift to learn about how to better myself, tolerate differences, and work with people who think differently than I do. If I can help it, I never let anyone stand in my way of my dreams and goals, including myself! Sometimes it requires me getting over myself and getting out of my own way to get where I am determined to go. I look for ways to appreciate what is happening and what I am learning (gratitude) so I can further develop my Grititude (my attitude to have grit). I ain't quitting just because it's harder than I planned or harder than expected.
#3 No clearly written goals with a deadline. This is a shocker. I call these folks "wandering generalities." If you don't know what your goals are, then how do you know what you are working on? And, why you are even working on something at all? Practice becomes meaningless since there is no purpose tied to the work. When I was training in College, I asked myself, "Is this quality and intensity of the work going to help us win a National Championship?" I also asked myself, "Is this level of intensity and focus going to help my team win a gold medal at the Olympics?" I made a habit of writing goals, laying out my path, and strategizing what small and large stepping stones I needed to cross in order to get to where I wanted to go. I did this in sports and in life. So can you. And be specific. If you described your goals to someone could they picture it in their mind?
SOLUTION: Purchase a journal dedicated to writing your specific goals. I believe the act of hand-written goals is an important part of the process since it accesses a different creative part of the brain compared to typing. Write several goals. No fancy process needed. "Get better" is not a goal. So, DO NOT write "Get better at _____". "Get better" means very little to the brain. It is too general. Here are examples of some of my specific goals and others you can set for yourself: make First Team All America, and First Team All America Academic Team by my senior year at Iowa; complete 500 sit-ups and 150 push-ups 3 x week until training camp which starts December 26; run a 3 mile loop in less than 19:25 to be ready for try-outs on February 5; practice the 3 mile loop 1 x week for the 6 weeks prior to try-outs; finish the Mental Toughness Training book I purchased by Friday. Complete six of the exercises in the book by Wednesday. Every single one of those goals are specific and clear about whether it was achieved or not.
Part 1 Self-Reflection
Take some time now to consider and reflect on each mistake and accompanying solution. Can you think of a time that you fell victim to an error in thinking?
What was happening at that time?
What can you do today to shift away from the mistake and move in a direction that is more beneficial, and solution-oriented?
Consider the solutions. Which options make the most sense to you. How you can begin to implement the solutions?
What will help remind you everyday to practice your mental changes?
What have you learned about yourself as a result of this reading and reflection?
#4 No coping strategies, no recovery strategies, no active, intentional ways to bounce back. In other words, the mistake is to continue to stay down when, and wherever, you fall down. This tends to be related to black and white thinking, or perfectionism, which of course, go hand in hand. Essentially, these are extreme points of view such as: I'm either good or bad: I'm doing it right or wrong: I played well or terribly. Instead of taking a growth and learning point of view, which allows one to recognize what went well, and what needs work, the mistake is to just evaluate the performance with judgments. There's no opportunity for real growth when the focus is only on criticism.
SOLUTION: Coping strategies means you developed (worked on, intended, or paid attention to) an ability to learn and let go of mistakes (both yours and others). It also means you have developed a network of people ("trusted advisors") with whom you can authentically converse to help you regain perspective if you are having difficulty doing so yourself. A trusted support person who can help you reframe the problem(s) and help you develop solutions is one of the most important people you can have in your life. Practice focusing on your breathing to stop perseverating on the problem(s) (i.e. stop obsessively thinking about the problem over and over again in your mind). Your brain cannot focus on counting your breaths and engage in negative thinking-; it will either do one or the other, so count your breaths! Actively use a journal to express yourself for 1-3 minutes only. Then, get solution focused! Use your energy to be creatively active and solution focused (what are you going to do actively, creatively and constructively do about it) instead of focusing and complaining about the negative.
#5 Not asking for help. No reliable resources, experts or support system in place.This mistake is based on the thinking that "I have to do it all by myself or it doesn't count." No great individual or team does it alone. Rely on the wisdom experience and guidance of those who have done it or know how to lead. Not asking for help is mulish, stubborn behavior that wastes your time, and others. It takes effort to ask for help. Don't expect people to read your mind. It will take more than rubbing a genie lamp for someone to appear! A persistent effort develops a mutually trusting relationship. If this is hard for you, then seek professional help.
SOLUTION: Ask for help. Seek out expert perspectives from authorities, and resources (books, audios, videos, movies, etc.). The most important support system is an authentic person who has experienced personal growth and who understands the process of change. Invest in and develop a support system. You are worth the investment in yourself to work with a professional coach or therapist. It's a gift that you give yourself and others!
#6 Working on the wrong things or working on the same things and expecting different results. This is usually caused by not having perspective. See mistake #5. By not having someone serve as a trusting reliable source of information, you are mired in your own beliefs about what should happen and how you should make it happen. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same things but expecting different results.
SOLUTION: Ask for help from a few good resources to gain other perspectives. Be open not defensive to feedback. Allow yourself to not "know it all". Know-it-alls get in their own way by being stubborn to their points of view. Open up! Be willing to tackle a problem with a different solution. You may find your life and your sport become easier and more fun!
#7 Not trusting in self; putting too much weight into what everyone else thinks. This mistake is opposite of the mule who thinks she/he has all the answers. The mistake here is not trusting yourself and just doing what everyone else thinks you should do. See mistake #1 (not having a good self-image to trust yourself). What is confusing for the person who makes this mistake is that they entertain too may opinions. By not sticking with a solution and direction, then no solution is fully implemented. You may never discover if that solution would have really worked since it was never followed through and fully executed. A bunch of half-baked and partially implemented ideas get few real and lasting results.
SOLUTION. Learning to trust yourself evolves from taking action and accepting responsibility for the results. If you rely on everyone else for all the answers, then you never take responsibility for the result, because it's "someone else's fault" and you just "did what you were told to do". Accepting responsibility for listening and following someone else's direction are good first steps in accepting responsibility and the result. You can also create your own solutions, realizing experimentation with different solutions will ultimately give you the confidence to further learn about what best fits you, and the situation. Trust yourself to balance other solutions with your own self directed appraisal, reflection, and commitment to providing the optimum solution for the present moment.
Part 2 Self-Reflection
Take some time now to consider and reflect on each mistake and accompanying solution. Can you think of a time that you fell victim to an error in thinking?
What was happening at that time?
What can you do today to shift away from the mistake and move in a direction that is more beneficial, and solution-oriented?
Consider the solutions. Which options make the most sense to you. How you can begin to implement the solutions?
What will help remind you everyday to practice your mental changes?
What have you learned about yourself as a result of this reading and reflection?
PART 3:
This article is part 3 of a 3 part series:
10 Common Mistakes Athletes Make
And What You Can Do to Fix Them
#8 No plan. No measurement. No baseline assessment. This mistake is related to mistake #3. If you don't know where you are going, why make a plan to go somewhere? Once you have clearly defined goals, it can be extremely beneficial to find out where you are today in relation to each goal. For example, when you go to Google maps and you request directions, it asks you for the starting and the ending point. That is the only way Google maps can give you directions. So it is with athletic development. Assess and measure where you are today. Then, define where you want to be in the future . Only then can you develop a specific plan to get to where you want to go.
SOLUTION: Ask reliable experts to help you assess where you are today, then define what needs to happen to get you to where you want to be. For example, if you want to be a State Champion in your track event, you must know what the time or distance achieved by past winners as well as how your competition is doing today. This gives you a benchmark to determine where you need to be to win the State Championship. Then develop a plan to gain more distance and speed to get the score (time) you need to win the State Championship. Develop your mental toughness plan to see and feel yourself winning the State Championship. Develop your nutrition plan to support your performance and recovery. And, develop your plan to stay injury-free, etc., etc.
#9 No flexibility; thinking there is only one way of doing something. Equifinality is a great word. It means there are multiple ways to get to the same destination. This mistake can be related to mistake #5. It arises from the mule.This person also may have a difficult time managing emotions, and may fly off the handle. Another mistake in and of itself! It can show up as "my way or the highway" or beating your head against the wall thinking a solution will break loose from the rocks in your head. Success can breed more success, but it can also breed failure if you think that just because something worked in one context then it should automatically work in another. Often, the conditions are different enough that with flexibility you can be open to other solutions; other ways of getting you to where you want to go.
SOLUTION. Gain clarity about your goal. Have a crystal clear picture in your mind. Allow solutions to arise naturally and without force. When you are wide open to possible solution, the amazing and beneficial answer will appear on its own. It will be completely obvious that you've made the right decision.
#10 Too focused on the past and the future. No ability to focus on what's important now. Our mantra on the national team was W.I.N. -- What's Important Now? I added an answer to that question with N.O.W., which stands for your Next Opportunity to WIN. It becomes cyclical. With the snap of a finger, the moment is gone and there's only this moment, now this moment, now this moment. The now is where current solutions arise. No person has the power to change the past. Yet mistakenly, we make decisions based on the past. Just as every problem could be related to self-image, which is based on a "picture" of the moment that has already passed; the NOW allows you to create a self-image of who and what you are now to help you reach your goals in the future.
SOLUTION: Ask yourself often: What's Important NOW? You'll be amazed to notice that there is a win in every moment. Be sure to allow yourself to see it!
SELF REFLECTION: If you are open to self-reflection, use the Top 10 Mental Mistakes and the Solutions to create a pathway for continued and growing success. Take time now to consider, reflect and re-reflect on each mistake and its accompanying solution. You would be making another common mistake if you just breezed over them, and not consider how they may apply to you and your behavior!
This is a real opportunity to learn about yourself if you choose to slow down and rest in what each element means to you.
Here again are the self-reflection questions.
Can you think of a time that you fell victim to an error in thinking?
What was happening at that time?
What can you do today to shift away from the mistake and move in a direction that is more beneficial, and solution-oriented?
Consider the solutions. Which options make the most sense to you. How you can begin to implement the solutions?
What will help remind you everyday to practice your mental changes?
What have you learned about yourself as a result of this reading and reflection?
This is not a time to beat yourself up for it. Just stay curious and open. Even if you don't feel like you have ever made all ten mistakes, be curious about your current behavior on and/or off the field, and consider the solutions closely. I think you'll find several valuable and sure-fire ways to create a personal plan with the solutions to grow, learn, and prepare yourself for amazing!
Keep your plan simple and to the point. You might create some self-statements that shift you away from the mistake and into focusing on the solution. You might add some power words and display them in prominent places to remind you of the direction you are creating. Journal about your realizations and how you are intentionally and creatively making a conscious, everyday effort to create the changes you seek. Discuss your insights with a trust advisor or professional to help you gain insights about your strengths, gifts and talents, which you may not be using or have not fully acknowledged.
Let me know what you think by sending me an email at: PrepareforAmazing@E1Fit.com
Committed to your Amazing!
Andrea (aka Dr. A)
E1Fit.com
